My Mother

My mother has cancer....again. She was given her news the day before her birthday in 2003. She has fought and won....twice. Now the beast is back. I have been blessed to be able to be with her during the first few weeks back, with breaks from my work at a school and luck...I guess. Many would not think going to treatment was luck or sure not a blessing but when I look at the minutes I may have left with my mom, each is a blessing even at treatment.


The cancer treatment center should be a place of sorrow but I see hope in every drip thru the I.V. tube. My mom sees hope too. Sometimes she is brave, sharing her story with others as they are tethered to their chairs for two to three hours. Sometimes she is the only listening ear that understands her new friends fears. Sometimes she is the delicate aging woman, with wrinkled hands reaching for me for support.


For the first time, this time, I looked into the eyes of my mom and saw confusion for just a second before I saw the tears as she whispered, "I can't remember what we were talking about just now." I cried, as I held her shaking hand, blaming her "chemo brain" for her short memory, knowing that along with the chemicals that were raging in her body to save her life...again...she was also slipping into the unknown for us both. That place that all mature people go where memory is short, where I will have to remind her of what happened a minute ago, a year ago and a lifetime ago.


I ask God for the patience to do just that. Remember and remind...


But today, I will remember her like this picture...my family was coming to my house to celebrate September birthdays, to surprise my sisters and mom, when they arrived I started snapping pictures like they were coming down a red carpet...so today I will remember my mom, on the red carpet, eyes full of life like the movie star she is to me.

I love you, Mom.....